IC Inbox

[ailes_dor]

The Sexiest Angel in the Garrison is currently not available. I'm probably having sex with your crush
or having fun doing the things you always wanted to do but never had the balls to try. Leave a message. 

Comments

voice >>> video

[awolangel]

[ There's a sigh, and then she switches to video. There's nothing sexy, sensual or pervy about the video sent- she's sat at a table, her hair a mess, wearing a shirt that isn't hers.]

Are they? Can you still wear party hats?

video

[demonarchical]

[ Damn right. Here he is. And here is Gabriel, looking very much like a Gabrielle, just as Lucifer had said, He looks her over, considerately, then switches on video of his own.

Crowley's horns are at least two inches now. Not bad, for just a week's growth. There's a slight twist to them already. ]

You really don't know how to do it. Intentionally? Because I... I screwed up. I'm trying to get Dean to love me the way I love him, and my methods aren't working out.

[awolangel]

[ Aww Crowley, those horns are so cute and dinky. ]

There's a girl who got turned into a boy a while ago. I think it's just something that happens here. I'm sorry.

But you know... Dean isn't as straight as he tells everyone he is. Ask him out for beer and hamburgers. It might work.

[demonarchical]

Are you sure you weren't always a woman? You're giving terrible advice. And your angelic powers are no use either. "Just something that happens".

Lucifer is being more helpful than you are, and all he wants is a house.

[awolangel]

I was always neither Crowley, you know that. The horns are affecting your brain aren't they?

It's a Hell-sickness called Wrong Bits. It might or might not be contagious, but even if it is, I'm not letting you use that as an excuse to rub your horny little self all over me.

What can I say? [She shrugs. No more Ms. Nice Angel] You have nothing I want and I'm not entirely sure you have anything Deano wants either.

[demonarchical]

Well. And to think that I was sending my clients to that little hug house of yours for free. I won't be doing that again.

Come on, Gabriel. Not even going to let me drink your bathwater to see if it is catching? I'm hurt.

[awolangel]

I don't know what you're talking about.

I think Dean should learn to love you for what you are Crowley. It's not a problem with you, it's a problem with him.

Singing cheesy pop songs to him over the night work might work. Helped for me.

[demonarchical]

Sure.

[ Whatever, he'll play. ]

Will you at least accompany me on the ukulele?

[awolangel]

Why not? But you have to wear the nice suit. The one with the glitter collar.

[demonarchical]

Damn, I threw that one out. I can't have an outfit that's more bling than I am.

[awolangel]

That's a shame, it looked good on you.

Maybe you should try plaid? To win Dean over?

[demonarchical]

Plaid, you think?

[awolangel]

He clearly likes it. I mean, you could always try the white-shirt-blue-tie look, if you think it'd get you more success.

[demonarchical]

You think you're so clever, don't you? Telling me to dress in plaid thinking I'll actually do it, and you get to take hilarious photographs.

[awolangel]

Sweetheart, don't get your horns in a twist. That wasn't the point at all. I would have taken pictures if you'd done some Castiel cosplay, but just in plaid? That's not enough to tickle me.

Unless the plaid happens to be on a very short skirt. Then... maybe.

[demonarchical]

You missed the century for that. I used to make plaid skirts really work for me.

[awolangel]

Kilts aren't skirts Crowley.

[demonarchical]

No, they aren't. But they still show off my killer calves.

[awolangel]

You know, I find that completely plausible. I bet they're stunning.

[demonarchical]

Remind me to show them to you some time.