IC Inbox

[ailes_dor]

The Sexiest Angel in the Garrison is currently not available. I'm probably having sex with your crush
or having fun doing the things you always wanted to do but never had the balls to try. Leave a message. 

Comments

[hardballsy]

When in doubt...

[When in doubt, just give him sugar anyway. He doesn't care what it is. He'll inhale a dozen doughnuts on his own, HE DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK.]

Two out of three of those sound pretty legitimate. What kind of safeguards did you have in mind? Anything specific, or is a brainstorming session in order?

[ailes_dor]

[ When in doubt, bribe the politicians with candy? Sounds good. And Gabriel has the best illegal supply down here. ]

Only two out of three? I think the school idea was good, personally, but okay.

Money set aside for medical bills, housing, that sort of thing. Only for deserving cases, but it might be a good thing to have a safety net for these folks. But if you want to talk about it, I'm free.

[hardballsy]

[Just this specific politician. He has a whole row of sweet teeth.]

My follow-up question is as it ever was: Is this going to be an issue for Brimstone?

[ailes_dor]

[ He's probably as bad, or at least as bad as a human can be, to Gabriel. ]

Someone might have to explain to them what a charity event is to them. And I think they'll want their cut. Grease the wheels, you know?

[hardballsy]

I'm not indirectly raising money for Brimstone.

[ailes_dor]

Have you ever heard of this thing, politicians invented it, they call it tax? everyone pays it. Even I pay it, which stinks. But that's the way it works.

We can find other ways. But at some point Josh, Brimstone is going to want a cut. And for the moment, you have to play by their rules, until you can change the rules.

[hardballsy]

Have you ever heard of this thing, the IRS invented it, called section 501(c)(3)?

Of course not, because it doesn't exist down here!

"Taxing" a theoretical charity. Bullshit. What's this "tax" paying for? What services are they providing the people here? Not torturing everyone to the point of insanity, is that it? A payoff?

[ailes_dor]

That and you wouldn't be exempt from taxation. Trying to influence the political system, that bit. But I get it kiddo, this sucks.

It probably pays the wages of the Reapers. IA agents. LHPD. I don't know what they spend it on, frankly, I just know they like having it. Money is a human thing, you explain it to me.

Would you like another cookie? To calm down?

[hardballsy]

I need another dozen cookies.

[ailes_dor]

I'll get a batch made up and sent over.

[hardballsy]

Can you have them made into a liquid so I can just inject them straight into my bloodstream?

private, because Greg will Not Approve

[ailes_dor]

Considering some of the weird stuff I've seen people mainline, cookies are not the strangest.

But I'd suggest just eating them. You miss out on the flavour if you just inject.

I do have weed left, if you want brownies.

NOR WILL HEAVEN

[hardballsy]

True. I guess that kind of defeats the purpose of cookies.

And I'm good, but thanks.

HEAVEN IS MADE UP OF BORING FARTS

[ailes_dor]

It sort of does? So, this time round, do you like M&Ms?

Good boy. Drugs are very bad, obv.

[hardballsy]

I do.

And I feel like you don't mean that.

[ailes_dor]

They#ll be in your funny donations box later today then.

What gives you that impression? I'm an angel. All angels know that drugs are bad and that includes alcohol, sugar, caffeine, warm socks, soap operas, cosmo magazine and everything else fun ever.

[hardballsy]

You know you can just stop by my office, right?

And Cosmo, really?

Let me guess: You're just saying that because of the sex tips.

[ailes_dor]

Awww, I never thought you'd invite me! <3

Cosmo is great. I bet you read Time or NatGeo or something. But yeah, the sex tips and quizzes are great. Although I clearly knew all of them already.

[hardballsy]

My door's always open.

[And he maybe wouldn't mind talking to Gabe just for the sake of talking.]

I preferred The Atlantic, actually.

So how *do* you tell if he really likes you?

[ailes_dor]

Well in that case, I'll drop them by myself. You bring the glasses of milk.

Do you really have to ask that?

I mean, they say it's oral sex but frankly, I think it's when he makes you your favourite dinner when you've had a long day and you're feeling sad.

But oral sex is a pretty good indicator. ;)

[hardballsy]

I don't trust the milk down here, dude.

That's almost sweet. Good advice, I think?

[ailes_dor]

Huh, good point. Cocktails then.

I hope so. It's the advice I'm following.

[hardballsy]

I'm also not sure I trust the interpretation of that word. "Cocktails." You know?

[ailes_dor]

What if I make them?

Or is that worse?

[hardballsy]

You know, you could've gotten me real good if you hadn't asked that second question.